The power of the group

On the weekend of October 21st, the second part of the Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training took place at Northern Light Yoga Studio. I felt so much gratitude and so much wonder, for how I ended up in that place, on this path of life, with these amazing people. I am in awe of what participating in a group energy does to your being. That's why today I want to talk to you about the relationship between ourselves and others. About the lessons I've learned, and the path we're all on. Today I want to talk about belonging, about humanity's basic need to belong (even if you won't admit it to yourself).

We humans don't do well on our own. And this is coming from someone who thought that moving to the middle of nowhere would give me the perfect environment for happiness. So, this is a story of someone who met themselves, so maybe you can too.

Maybe you also have social anxiety. Maybe even being with friends and family requires precious energy from you. Do you need a lot of time to recharge? Why do you need it? Have you asked yourself this question? Is it just because "you are this way"? Or do you put the blame on other people, on the world even? Isn't it easy to dislike people? To pull away from the bad world and make yourself a safe island? Have you ever dug deep into yourself about why you feel this way?

Maybe the reason others leave you feeling exhausted is because you're afraid to be authentic. Maybe you put so much energy into holding up a mask or a shell or keeping yourself inside, that it drains you of all energy. And I get it, sometimes the pain of that is less than the pain of rejection. It's also incredibly self-consuming. If you peel away some layers, you can see that all your focus is on yourself. And that's ok, you're allowed this experience, nothing is wrong with you. But are you brave enough to go towards the other end of the spectrum?

I used this metaphor before and I'll do it again: You can't cure a fear of heights by staying on the ground.

You can't heal the relationship you have with interacting with other people by withdrawing from the world. The lesson I so sincerely learned.

The way forward is through. Lean into every interaction you have. Why do you feel you can't be yourself in any particular situation? What do you fear will happen? In my experience, there is this fear present, the fear of not belonging to the other. The basic need of humanity is to belong and feel 'at home' with others. This is true even if you told yourself that you don't need anyone because it's less painful than admitting that you don't belong.

But don't try to force yourself to take off your masks. Observe and learn about yourself. Try to understand yourself. Put yourself out there consciously, and continue to test your limits with "others". This outward energy of curiosity and understanding will reflect back eventually.

The greatest reward of all, finding people like you. People you can relate to. People who have similar experiences, who think in a similar way and use the art of perception in forms you can understand.

I wouldn't call it "healing social anxiety", because that implies there's something wrong. But I do want to reach people who are where I once was. Please don't hide, don't retreat, you are beautiful! I know it's painful and so very energy draining, but be curious, be brave and put yourself out there! Re-explore and learn about relationships!

Amazing, like-minded people just keep pouring into my life over the last few years. Exponentially. I felt so much gratitude for the group I ended up in when I chose to take the Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training at Northern Light this year. I gained a new understanding of what group energy does and why it can be so spiritualizing.

I'm going to use a metaphor, inspired by my background in geology. Imagine a single drop of water in the soil. The way and speed at which this drop of water will move is very much dependent on the type of soil or terrain it is in. It can just sit there on the rock, or it can move slowly through sand. Imagine this drop of water finding its way into a stream or river. Do you see how the speed of movement increases? Do you see how a river can cut through rock, erode the landscape and escape continents?

Our energy is largely determined by our identifications and our boundaries, which slowly flow on the roads of life. But then there comes a point on this journey, where water gathers, the laws of the landscape make it so. Like-minded souls, meet and flow together. Suddenly our identifications don't matter anymore, they are shared by the group. Together we are able to cut through anything. We rise above ourselves. Our unified stream of consciousness cuts through all our boundaries and we touch what lies beyond. We are able to see beyond ourselves and into the shared. Do you see the power in this?

In this group of people, we share so many similar feelings and experiences. All of us have had spiritual encounters or extreme events. When shared by a group, these things are suddenly not so "special" anymore. They no longer identify you, because they are shared. The group is such an aid in seeing past the ego, past the spiritual ego even. It doesn't matter anymore!

How liberating! How humiliating! How little we know! We rise above our personal experience and touch what lies beneath.

Let's float.

Written by Ellen Wild (Kundalini Yoga teacher in training 2022/2023)