Silence for Christmas

2 weeks after I came home from the 3rd Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training weekend at Northern Light in Oslo, the snow came to the west coast of Norway. A white blanket of ticks, lying heavy on the trees. Muffling sounds on this little corner of the earth.

We did a listening exercise in this third Kundalini Yoga session. Listening completely, keeping our minds empty in the process. Something I don't do enough in real life.

Do you know what bothered me the most during this exercise? Not the listening part, but the being-listened-to part. Aries listened with such intensity, stillness and acceptance, as if I was water filling a bucket. A bucket big enough to actually receive.

It made me feel so vulnerable. Welcome like soft rain in the desert.

How intimate it is for someone to receive you. How often do we listen? Like actually listen? How often do we empty ourselves to make space to receive and understand the messages that come our way? How often do we hear but not listen?

Remember busy with things to do and places to go. Thinking about what WE are thinking or what WE want to say next. All while constantly filtering through the glasses of our own life experience, triggering our emotions and blaming the sender for it.

That's why I wanted to talk to you about the holidays that are knocking at the door. The season of family, old friends and togetherness. A season of a thousand gatherings and a thousand commitments. A season that can feel very lonely despite the company. A season that might as well mark the lack of company.

Can I suggest something? Can we try something? Can we listen to this Christmas?

The winter solstice is the turning point. The eye in the storm of darkness. Everything swirls around it in search of the light. Can we cut through all the noise? Can we stand still and empty ourselves in the darkness? This intimacy with ourselves can show us how much we long for, need and fear.

Everything can feel so awkward. All around flickering lights in all colors, plastic decorations, people screaming with too much alcohol, dressed in their best polyester.

Can we leave it for what it is? Stop questioning our participation in it. This endless chatter about what's good and what's bad. Close it down. Can we just be quiet?

Here, in the far west, the snow sparkles as much as the night sky above. Stars and Christmas decorations are everywhere, contributing to this perfect winter wonderland. It's the kind of thing from a children's story, a fairytale winter wonderland. Nothing resembles the reality of December that I remember from my youth on the continent.

Who knew stars could shine so brightly? Who knew that snow could actually sparkle like it's made of millions of diamonds? My gratitude practice consists only of looking out these days. I don't need anything else. I live in a postcard, Christmas in a children's book.

We are approaching the winter solstice. Darkness is approaching. The sun gives way to subtle starlight. Everything is so quiet here. Again, something I don't remember from where I grew up. The snow is like a blanket for the senses. Shhh...

The quieter it gets, the better we hear the most subtle things. Like our eyes, our pupils dilate in the dark. Senses heightened. Shhh... Can we take this state with us? To accompany us in social interactions?

Maybe you're not the same person you were 10 years ago, maybe you've worked on yourself. Try going to a classic Christmas party as a vegetarian. It can feel very claustrophobic to share a table with people who are on a completely different wavelength of life.

But when we meet that family member, with radically different options and lifestyles, can it give them the gift of listening? Instead of feeling attacked annoyed and blaming them for it, because we are so spiritual, so enlightened.

Can we hear what's underneath? The true meaning? The true lacks and misses and fears? Can we empty ourselves to receive completely and absolutely? Perhaps we learn that underneath, our needs and fears are not so different at all. Let's take off the glasses and headphones of our own experience, that filter that twists everything, that makes everything about us.

I know it's not much. It doesn't solve any problems, materialistically, socially or mentally health-wise. But could it be what we need?

Give someone the gift of listening and see what it does when it comes to returns.

With love, happy solstice and a blessed Christmas,

Ellen

Written by Ellen Wild (Kundalini Yoga teacher in training 2022/2023)